Fried Squirrel with Mushroom Gravy

Have no fear, this is actually a recipe for Portabello Mushrooms in Gravy

I am including a new recipe, though I doubt very seriously anyone tries it, but, please, if anyone should try it, let me know!

The reason for the recipe is due to a new arch enemy of mine & my husband.  I have named him “Fat Juicy” & he is a squirrel that resides in our back yard.  Squirrels have been the source of some frustration for us for some time.  It all started shortly after we moved into this home & purchased an outdoor dining set for our deck.  We saw the furniture as a place to eat but the squirrels saw it as a bedding outlet.  They promptly ripped open the seams of the cushions on the chairs & pulled out the stuffing to use for their nests.  How did they know to do this?  Every attempt to stop them was futile!  I eventually threw the chairs into the trash, but not until after we stored them for a while because I had visions of replacing the deflated cushions with plastic strips that I myself would weave to form new seats.  Right!  That wasn’t going to happen.  By the way, we have never replaced those chairs.  If we choose to dine outside we simply drag our kitchen chairs to the deck. 

We have also endured the following:  stolen, freshly planted corn seeds & bulbs in our gardens, chipped pine cones & poop all over the deck, pelting of pine cones from above, missing tomatoes, also from the garden (Craig watched a squirrel steal it & then perch himself on a fence to enjoy it, though we really don’t mind this because we have had tomatoes coming out of our ears this year!), torn-up bird feeders, & now, added to the list, mutilation of our kids trampoline (also for nesting purposes, I suppose). These squirrels have brought more pain than pleasure for us!  (Although they are quite, cute, cleaver, & funny & have given our Pug a purpose in life as she patrols our yard for these pests.)

That brings me back to Fat Juicy.  Fat Juicy has either decided to try to befriend me or behead me.  Every morning, for the past several mornings, as I sit on my deck for quiet time, computer, & coffee he has decided to join me.  It all started when he bounded to the deck, not realizing I was there, & realized I might do him no harm.  The next morning he decided to observe me from above as he perched himself on one of our gutters directly over my head.  He would peer over, occasionally but duck back if I stared for too long.  This morning he joined both Craig & I,  clinging, upside down, on the Pine tree next to our deck while staring (or maybe glaring) at us.  I think he believes that he may just be able to take us & have our whole house to himself.

Craig’s reaction to all of this (and with every other assault) is to aim at the squirrel with an imaginary shotgun & let out one deadly shot.  Craig has commented that this squirrel would make a fine meal at which I commented that as the prices of food soar he may become a meal!  And this brings me back to the title of the post:  Fried Squirrel with Mushroom Gravy.  Don’t be surprised if one day I post a rating on this recipe.  (Though I think Craig & I will be dining alone as the kids have already stated that they would rather starve than eat squirrel!)

Fried Squirrel with Mushroom Gravy

~ 3 squirrels, cut into serving pieces ~ flour ~ salt and pepper ~ 2 eggs, beaten ~ 3 – 4 pieces bacon, chopped ~ 1 medium onion, chopped ~ 1 can cream of mushroom soup ~ 1 soup can milk

Season the flour to taste with salt and pepper. Place in a bowl. Beat the eggs in another bowl.Heat some oil in a large skillet.Dip the squirrel pieces in the egg and then the flour. Repeat if you want. Add to hot oil.Fry until golden brown. Remove and drain fat. Return to skillet.Cover with the bacon and onion.Mix the soup and milk together and pour over meat.Cover, reduce heat and simmer for 2 hours. Serve with mashed potatoes and dinner rolls. Enjoy.